A Word About Coquito: Puerto Rican Eggnog

I wrote a piece about coquito several years back and I’m revisiting it because once you’ve had good coquito, even if it doesn’t touch your lips again for years, it marks you for life!

It starts with a base of seasoned water with cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. This is mixed with coconut milk, sweet condensed milk, and rum. There is not a single version, there are variations on a theme; and there’s debate over whether you make it with or without eggs.

It is always preferable to make coquito with Puerto Rican rum (white or gold, is about your personal taste). You could go for 80-proof or 151-proof, but use less at the higher end. In the absence of cañita (see pitorro below), you may use Ron del Barrilito -- the most exquisite rum from my former hometown of Bayamon. Use regular or two-star, but three-star is for drinking straight and hearing angels sing.

The longer it sits, the better it tastes because the rum mellows into the concoction.

I don’t make coquito. My friend Jon’s mother, a lovely and lively elderly Puerto Rican woman, and I discussed traditional Christmas fare a few years back. I wanted a recipe for pasteles and in the middle of the party, I sat by mami furiously taking notes like a nerd!

Then she offered me some of the coquito she’d brought and began telling me of its preparation.

“Well, first, a few months before you need it,” she confided, “you gotta call Snake so he can get the pitorro, and then you gotta go to El Barrio to pick it up.”

Not this Snake. Not unless he's selling bootleg liquor in Spanish Harlem...

I was still processing the fact that this sweet señora knew some dude named Snake when she added, “And bring cash. You gotta pay Snake in cash…”

I couldn’t handle the conversation so there is no more I can tell you about that.

I will warn you, if you have Puerto Rican friends they will try to give you some coquito, note the tiny bit they serve you. The less there is in the cup or glass, the less you ought to ingest!

Don't be a hero. This stuff will kill you. It will seduce you first. Then it will humiliate you. Death will be swift! 

The good stuff is smooth, has an intoxicating aroma, and goes down like velvet. Then, about 6 seconds after you’ve committed to it, it burns all the way to the pit of your stomach. Then you literally feel a glow take over you.

It’s like being hit by thunder and caressed by god in one gulp.

To me coquito tastes better in Puerto Rico, in the middle of a roaming parranda.

(There are several videos in YouTube, search “making coquito” for English versions, and also plenty of recipes in the Internet. I prefer mine made by somebody else. I may not update until next year, so if I don't catch you on one of the other blogs: happy holidays!)

For more recipes, how-to videos and information about Puerto Rican holiday foods, go to the Pinterest board: